KNIGEL KNAPP

Your local Official Monster Raving Loony Party Representative

	BORED WITH BLAIR?
	'AD IT WITH ABBOTT?
	DON'T NORMALLY VOTE?
WELL, DON'T VOTE NORMALLY - VOTE FOR THE MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY

Knigel knapp - Knight of the unKnown, is standing in the general election as a member of The Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Against Diane Abbott in North Hackney & Stoke Newington (North London)

So who is this Knigel Knapp then? This is what he says, when asked.......

"I sing in a band called The Big Fibbers. My previous band was The Blatant Lies Big Band.

"I'm the OMRLP Shadow Minister for blatant lies and big fibs, and as such I think I would make a perfect opponent for Diane Abbot (Lab).

"I'm going to be honest about the fact that I'm lying!

"Vote for me - and I'll make the world a better place, give everyone a free banana, do anything you want me to, etc. etc. (If anyone has got anything they want included in our manifesto please contact me at:

This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

and we will do our best to squeeze it in, totally change it or just disregard it all together.)"

Knight of the unKnown?

More people don't vote than do. If you spoil your vote it doesn't get counted.* A lot of people are pissed off with politics - so let the Powers-that-be know. A vote for The Monster Raving Loony Party is a real protest vote! If you vote for the Greens or Lib Dems is Tony Blair really going to notice? But if all those people who don't normally vote, all those unknown people, voted for the OMRLP then he would have to stop ignoring us. At least we can now have a say..... and a song and a dance and a bloody good party - The Monster Raving Loony Party. Vote for Knigel Knapp - Knight of the unKnown. Don't go unknown any longer.

SOME MANIFESTO PROMISES (or big fibs)

TRANSPORT

We will ban the bendy bus - They're too big and too bendy

We will remove all traffic lights. This will mean that everyone will have to drive much more carefully and look out for and after their fellow road users. Otherwise they will all die. We will obviously have to install more zebra crossings. And probably a few people crossings too.

EDUCATION

We will bring a 'laughter hour' into all primary schools (like the literacy hour but more useful.) In fact we might extend this scheme to secondary schools and all work places too. We believe that people aren't having enough fun, they should be able to have a laugh and enjoy themselves and if they can't we will have to teach them.

HEALTH

see Education - laughter is the best medicine

LAW AND ORDER

We will get rid of ASBOs and bring back the stocks. - SFOs (Soft Fruit Only - to be thrown at the incarcerated - pineapples might cause too much injury)

(Any more Loony ideas greatly appreciated)

Vote for Knigel Knapp - Knight of the unKnown

Vote for insanity - you know it makes sense

 *That was a blatant lie - they do get counted but nobody ever takes any notice of them.

 photo's by Rob Mason